Receiving data.......done!
Signal status: poor strength
Boosting signal strength...........done!
Message type: echo::all
Echo type: FTL//unclassified//scrambled//broadcast

[header]
{contents corrupted}
[:end]

[main body format='radio/audio' /* Style inserted for emphasis in text log */]

{static} ... I can't believe I actually have to rely on this piece of junk. {loud sigh}

Well, might as well get started. My name is Alaran Akan, hopefully some of my messages have reached a station by now. Right now I'm trainsmitting via a classic lightspeed radio system, which I had only intended to bring along as a minor distraction from the rigors of space patrol. Unfortunately, it seems my luck ran out, and now I have to rely on this piece of crap to save me.

It's been three days since my FTL drive cut out on me mid-warp, stranding me in the middle of Akan knows where in Deneb. If I'm even in Deneb, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm light years away right now. The loss of my FTL drive also took down my Heisenburg(what a dumb name, I wonder where it came from. Nobody seems to know) communicator, as well as my sublight gravy engines.

I might as well tell why I'm here, nothing else do to until someone comes- wait up, I'm running out of battery on this thing. I'm going to go see if I can rig up something from the sh-- {transmission truncated, reason unknown}
[:end]

Receiving data.......done!
Signal status: very poor strength
Boosting signal strength...........done! {Some contents my still be weak, please update signal booster algorithm}
Message type: echo::all
Echo type: FTL//unclassified//scrambled//broadcast

[header]
date: 4426
{header missing data}
id: Alaran-54msdf
{data format unknown}
[:end]

[main body format='radio/audio' /* Style inserted for emphasis in text log */]
This is the log of Ensign Alaran Akan of the 31st Dark Sky Wing, currently assigned to patrol duty within Deneb. My brothers and sisters in arms currently on a...classified incursion into red territory, hopefully they'll return soon enough for a quick drink after my patrol. Routine patrol, etc etc etc.

Perhaps you're wondering why I'm broadcasting this, or why I'm using such old technology? Well, it's something of a hobby of mine, working on old electronics. I'm told by my old man that our ancient ancestor, the Akan of Terra II, did this as well, as a novelty. There's not really much else to do out while patrolling anyway.

Serco have been quiet recently, we believe they're beginning to get wise to our movements- it's why I've been stationed out here to watch guard over the system. It's nice knowing the Black Fleet is at my every beck and call, but I'm not quite sure I like the responsibility. Ah well, as long as everything goes routine and my luck holds up, I'll get home to sleep tonight.

Oh, about my luck, since this is to be a sort of journal of sorts(sort of sorts, heh), it's tremendous. I have yet to have a single bad day in my life, and all my friends say that I'm blessed by our great progenitor. I can't wait to see all them again once I'm done with my patrol, specifically Emirasf and Rodney(My girlfriend and best friend, respectively. That respectively is important there you know.)

Anyway, Alaran out. Look forward to the next sublight log, eyes and ears in the future!
[:end]

Receiving data.......done!
Signal status: moderately poor strength
Boosting signal strength...........done!
Message type: echo::all
Echo type: FTL//unclassified//scrambled//broadcast

[header]
{header missing data}
shipname: Emirasf
id: Alaran-54msdf
{data format unknown}
[:end]

[main body format='radio/audio']
{silence}
I'm hungry...so hungry. This is the...

{audible sigh}

...ugh, I lost count. This is one of the logs of the starving Alaran, assigned long-range recon/research roughly six light years from Deneb. My warp drive and FTL comms cut out on me a good week ago, since then I found my nav system died as well. I have no way to tell how fast, or in which direction I'm heading.

{barely audible thrumming of life support(?) systems}

...I miss my friends back at the station. Long-range recon is not the sort of duty you look forward to, unless you're one of those weirdos in the schools today. Mmn, I remember school. Especially lunchtime, that was always my favorite part. Often the schools on {removed¹} had wonderful food, always cooked by hand...

I need to stop talking about that. Salisbury steak wafting through my mind's eye, ugh.

Haha, that Rodney though, he was always a troublemaker in school. One time he...

{signal lost}
{signal found, recovering.....done!}

...and then she said...

{signal lost}
{signal found, recovering.....done!}

...why would you do something like that, Rodney? Didn't you know it would hurt me?

...I think that's enough for now. I'm going to see if I can find anything, even if it's not much, to eat. Alaran Akan out.
[:end]

¹ All classified information has been removed by Interval Security filtration software. Interval Security- all the security you need, when you need it!

Receiving data.......done!
Signal status: moderately poor strength
Boosting signal strength...........done!
Message type: echo::all
Echo type: FTL//unclassified//scrambled//broadcast

{header missing}

[main body format='radio/audio']
Ha! Good day, spacers! This is the old-timey audio log of Alaran Akan, transmitted via old-timey radio waves while I am on long-range recon roughly six light years from Deneb. Why Command wants recond data from six light years away, only Akan himself knows. But, hey, today is my birthday!

{sound of a kazoo}

I am now twenty years old, and would drink the bottle I was given for today, if I hadn't drank it earlier in my patrol cycle, heh. Wooo~ this patrol is boring. Ah! Wait, I have a transmission on Heisenberg.

{keys clacking, brief humm in background}

Ah! Emisraf, hello!

Hello Alaran, my lucky lad!

Aww, you shouldn't call me that, it's a bit embarrassing you know...

So? Anyway, how's my birthday boy?

'bit lonely, but good otherwise.

That's too bad...but! I have news for you!

Oh! What is it?

I'm breaking up with you! Rodney and I have been sleeping together for a few months now, and your a stale cruft anyway. So...go choke and die! Laters!

{electrical thwip}

{silence}

{dull thunk}

{signal lost, unrecoverable}
[:end]

Receiving data.......done!
Signal status: decent
Boosting signal strength...........faked!
Message type: echo::all
Echo type: FTL//general//sunny-side-up//mallard

The porn you're looking for is not here.