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Very nice backstory, makes me proud, in a brainwashed propagandized sort of way, to be Serco (:
A few quick notes tho, in chapter 5 affect should be substituted with effect, chapter 6 grivitic should be substituted with gravitic, and in chapter 10 two instances of cannon should have an s appended to them (not the instances when they are referred to by name), aswell in chapter 10, 'their,' should have the comma removed.
A few quick notes tho, in chapter 5 affect should be substituted with effect, chapter 6 grivitic should be substituted with gravitic, and in chapter 10 two instances of cannon should have an s appended to them (not the instances when they are referred to by name), aswell in chapter 10, 'their,' should have the comma removed.
"cannon" can actually be either singular or plural, IIRC.
Really? Learn something new every day.
The more you know...
the more arrogant you become? :D
Wow, that's a fascinating story. I like it. It makes sense now where Vendetta gets its name. The Serco have a Vendetta against the Itani and the Order of Akan against the Serco. (ok I'm sure most of you knew that but I'm new here so it was an ah-ha moment for me.)
I think I'll start hanging out in Itani space, I want one of those mental forcefields :)
I think I'll start hanging out in Itani space, I want one of those mental forcefields :)
Only if you're Serco :P
I'm quite proud to have integrated myself into the Neutral Territories. No thank you on military or meditative life, my one aspiration is the Almighty Credit. To this end, I seem to be in the right camp. Of course, the best profit only comes when you've got a good network of buyers and sellers, and I don't care if you're Serco, Itani, Neutral, or "Other". If you've got credits, I've got goods.
I'm quite proud to have integrated myself into the Neutral Territories. No thank you on military or meditative life, my one aspiration is the Almighty Credit. To this end, I seem to be in the right camp. Of course, the best profit only comes when you've got a good network of buyers and sellers, and I don't care if you're Serco, Itani, Neutral, or "Other". If you've got credits, I've got goods.
Does a Sage have a place among a nation full of corporate whores?
We'll see won't we?
We'll see won't we?
Wow, I just read through part 4... :O~~~~~
Devs, mind putting up the uncondensed version for download? I'd love to read it... ^_^
Devs, mind putting up the uncondensed version for download? I'd love to read it... ^_^
a most excellent story john, very nice.
"What language does humanity speak?"
Waylonics!
Waylonics!
Nice story Exelent work .........and we are next...:)
excellent work
Yes, I noticed a few errors. When I next read through it again, I'll take note of them.
yeah im wondering about the uncondesed version myself :(
would love to download it also.
would love to download it also.
I liked the story, except for this:
Why are Serco only depicted as bloodthirsty, vengeful racists? Isn't there any moderate or even compromising part of the populace? Something positive that players can emulate and represent? That could even be made into a storyline, a splinter cell in the SD, or a underground movement that opposes the triumvirate.
Because, quite frankly, I've come to love the Serco Dominions, but if they stay the way like they're depicted right now, I consider switching to the Neutral Territories, they have a much more sane approach to things than either the Serco or the Itani.
Why are Serco only depicted as bloodthirsty, vengeful racists? Isn't there any moderate or even compromising part of the populace? Something positive that players can emulate and represent? That could even be made into a storyline, a splinter cell in the SD, or a underground movement that opposes the triumvirate.
Because, quite frankly, I've come to love the Serco Dominions, but if they stay the way like they're depicted right now, I consider switching to the Neutral Territories, they have a much more sane approach to things than either the Serco or the Itani.
"I liked the story, except for this:
Why are Serco only depicted as bloodthirsty, vengeful racists?"
...Um, dude did you even read it? Where does it say anything about Serco or them being racist?
Why are Serco only depicted as bloodthirsty, vengeful racists?"
...Um, dude did you even read it? Where does it say anything about Serco or them being racist?
I was curious and transfered it all over to word. with most of it in 2 columns and a 10 point font, this is 37 pages long. I'd hate to be forced to read the unabridged version, though if it ever became availiable, I'd probably still read the uncondensed version. But if someone really wants it, I can transfer this version to a .pdf for download, though not sure where to post the file for download.
Also, great story. This is some great writing. Lends itself to so many possible roleplaying oppurtunities for different characters. Actually might end up writing a couple of stories for my college english class, hope you guys don't mind. ;)
Also, great story. This is some great writing. Lends itself to so many possible roleplaying oppurtunities for different characters. Actually might end up writing a couple of stories for my college english class, hope you guys don't mind. ;)
I believe there is some confusion. Where it says
"The following presents a condensed history of the known Galaxy, as pieced together by the monks of Itan."
That's part of the story. There is no written uncondensed history of the Chronicles of Exile. There was some prior mention of cutting it down to fit X number of pages and yada yada, but what's on the website is the whole thing. John's original word document was in 12 or 14 point, single column.
"The following presents a condensed history of the known Galaxy, as pieced together by the monks of Itan."
That's part of the story. There is no written uncondensed history of the Chronicles of Exile. There was some prior mention of cutting it down to fit X number of pages and yada yada, but what's on the website is the whole thing. John's original word document was in 12 or 14 point, single column.
On a related note, reproducing somebody else's text as a PDF is a big NO-NO. That can land you in jail, at least in the US and wherever else we choose to enforce the DMCA. Make sure to ask for permission, in other words.