In order to demonstrate the Level of Protections offered by Tumblemonster Insurance, I will execute all traders on sight for the next 3 weeks. I will also kill Lebermac until he dies from it, for being a smarty-pants.

TUMBLEMONSTER PROTECTION INSURANCE: THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP ME FROM SHOOTING YOU.

Except ,e right? I gave you the idea. And if that doesn't work Il pay u 500k credits for protection during the troubling period.

TUMBLEMONSTER PROTECTION INSURANCE!

See what the people are saying!

"I purchase a day pass through bractus just tonight and the service was excellent! I was givin a shiny new transponder that I'm told flags my ship so when tumble see's he won't shoot!! I flew by tumblemonster several times that night and he DIDN'T SHOOT ME! This is truly a wonderful product that I reccomend to all my friends! '
-Anonymous

"We just purchased a years protection from Tumblemonster Insurance, and were blown away by how much we were not blown away! Yes, after we purchases our yearly insurance, it's happy trading when tumbles around. Sometimes he even sings songs!"
-Orntsa Ru

/me thumbs his nose at tumblemonster from his internet-less world of oblivion. Nyah Nyah.

Perhaps THIS is what Lecter meant when he said "The Void awaits..."

Hopefully some of the kind folks over at VPR or IA will just put a tail on tumblemonster and keep him constantly engaged. I'd do it myself but...

"I'd do it myself but..."

...you're inept.

:P

/me gets second job to pay for cable again just to login and kick tumble's butt.
Oh, but then I'd have no time to play. :(

*Poof- Is Starbucks Ninja*

DON"T BUY INSURANCE. I am a very dissatisfied customer. First of all if you pay 50k daily it's much cheaper than the 30 mil for a year. Is this the kind of person you want to buy something from?

I was in my kamikaze-mine Centaur, and was thus losing in my fight with tumblemonster. I paid the 50k for the easy way out and he KEPT SHOOTING.

DO NOT BUY TUMBLEMONSTER PROTECTION INSURANCE

I didnt see that you'd paid! And Once I did, I stopped firing! What do you expect, I stop to read when Im fighting, just for an added challenge? (ok, with some dismal combatants I actually do that, but not this time....)

And it is worth 30 million! Think of it this way, do you really want to get boomed while you're paying? Pay for a year and that'll never happen!

TUMBLEMONSTER INSURANCE: THE CHOICE OF LESS THAT STELLAR PILOTS EVERYWHERE

He can't do he math! Don't buy!

And do you want to purchase something from someone with such a long processing time?

Think about it, soaring good prices due to an economic redux, Substandard parts in new behemoths slowing them to easilly piratable speeds, and a complete lack of combat ability do to incompetence!

The question you have to ask is, can you afford not to own Tumblemonster Insurance?

You can afford it even more since you made that mistake and its cheaper to pay daily.

I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY MONEY TO SOMEONE WHO CAN'T RUN A BUISNESS WITH VALUES THAT MAKE SENSE (again)

I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY MONEY TO SOMEONE WHO WON'T STOP SHOOTING

Aha!! Everyone everywhere understands the desire to not stop shooting you!! Consider the discipline I have at my command, because I managed it!!

TUMBLEMONSTER INSURANCE: BECAUSE GETTING KILLED AND LOSING YOUR CARGO SUCKS

[maccommercial]

I'm Starbucks Ninja, and I used to pay for tumblemonster protection insurance

I quit because I realized I didn't want to be helping someone who cant' do math. It was just frusturating too how he kept shooting me while I paid. And then some other time he started shooting me again and I was forced to attempt to kill myself with mines (Tumble, if you run into them its your fault, they were merely to kill me NOT YOU)

I'm much happier now without it.

[/maccommercial]

No no no... if you're going to do a Switcher ad, it's gotta sound like this:

[Ellen Feiss]
So, I was like, sitting in B8 and this dude tumblemonster shows up, and he's all like "Give me money, man, or I'll like, shoot you and stuff." And I was all "I'm a college student, I don't have that kind of money! This is my dad's old ship!" So he starts flying all around me, and rockets start shooting around, and I was all "Aaaahh!" and I started hitting buttons and stuff. And my ship starts flying around him in circles all over the place, and little machine guns start shooting from my ship, and then it was like BEEP BEEP BEEP beebeebeebeebee and then he blew up.

My name is Nerde Verde, and I use popcorn
[/Switcher ad]

Hmmm, I was thinking Tumble would prolly be a bit easier to arrest if we bought a day pass first.

Do you give guild discounts Tumblemonster or would every Viper have to buy one?

edit: I'm not going to read all that tumble, I'll just assume my plan will work.

Free Viper escorts tend to be more value by credit, because they will allso cover you against other pirates. So I would say:

Go for the free Viper escorts, we'll even throw in a few rammers for free after the run!

Yes, you heard it, ITS FREE :)

Yes, I do guild discounts, however, you should probably read the terms of service more carefully...

"...Tumblemonster Protection is offense protection only. Should you unwisely choose to attack Tumblemonster after purchasing a policy, said policy becomes null and void, and tumblemonster can and will unceremoniously boom you.

Further, requests for assistance by tumblemonster's guild mates, friends, pets and sentient asteroids immediately nullify any protection policy for the duration of the request (policy will be reinstated at the conclusion of the assistance)

Finally, Insurance Policy will be null in void in any of the following circumstances:

1. Capital Ship Battles

2. If your name is Smittens, an alt of Smittens, or any other name that has an 'S' in it

3. If tumblemonster is in a particularly grumpy mood

4. If you are in the same sector as tumblemonster, and close enough for him to shoot

5. Policy holder becomes or is a member of any guild with a tag that includes any letter of the alphabet

COSTS TO AND OBLIGATIONS OF POLICYHOLDERS

Tumblemonster Insurance cost's 30 million credits per year, or 50,000 credits per day. 50 thousand credits times 365 days equals 45 million credits (using new standard quantum algebration fornication mathmatics), therefore purchasing a year's contract saves you 50%.

All policyholders are required to prostrate themselves before tumblemonster at every oppertunity, up to and including times when you'd rather just fly about like a monkey, but can't because I'm there, and you have to behave and tell me how cool I am. "

I hope that short excerpt from the Rules and Policies helps clarify things for you. The complete text of the Rules and Policies is on display in the sub basement level 42 D at the station in Sedina B-7. Policies are available to the viewing public for 17.3 minutes each day, on a rotating schedule.

Drat! And I was thinking about buying a policy too.

Well, for those of you that use not-idiot math, it's only a little above 18 mil to buy the policy daily.

Please ignore smittens. He's sore that he doesnt understand higher mathmatics. Using complex acrobathmatics and imaginary number trinary complexity chaos theory, with no small measure of particle orangatagon shaft dynamics, all concepts Smittens will never grasp, 50,000 by 365 days adds to 45 million credits. Tumblemonster Protection Insurance assures all policyholders that you are not being taken advantage of. It just so happens Im smarter than all of you.