Forums » Role Playing
What if (in terms of VO guilds)
I spent a good half hour of my 6 hour drive today coming up with this stuff to pass the time. Hope you enjoy.
What would happen if truckers held a monopoly on all the road maps?
TGFT
If North Korea married Belgium and had kids,
PA
Where are the descendants of all the singers with self-titled songs in the 45th century?
ITAN
What do you get if you take all the horses in a Texas-themed western and replace them with high-performace fighter spacecraft?
VPR vs CLM
What would it look like if anarchists developed a cunning ploy to convince everyone they are here to help?
EMS
How about if junk emails merged with fighter jets?
KAOS
Battle of Britain meets the Spanish Inquisition?
ONE
And last but not least, the designer of the Prometheus crossed with Saddam Hussein's press secretary?
SCAR
What would happen if truckers held a monopoly on all the road maps?
TGFT
If North Korea married Belgium and had kids,
PA
Where are the descendants of all the singers with self-titled songs in the 45th century?
ITAN
What do you get if you take all the horses in a Texas-themed western and replace them with high-performace fighter spacecraft?
VPR vs CLM
What would it look like if anarchists developed a cunning ploy to convince everyone they are here to help?
EMS
How about if junk emails merged with fighter jets?
KAOS
Battle of Britain meets the Spanish Inquisition?
ONE
And last but not least, the designer of the Prometheus crossed with Saddam Hussein's press secretary?
SCAR
You shouldn't drive while drunk and/or on LSD, Aramarth.
wat?
You must have been the driver of that tour bus that tried to run me off the road, Lec. I didn't appreciate that man. Yall should really learn how to drive before you attempt I-81.
last time i was on I81 between winchester and lexington, i was doing 120 mph, passing people by driving on the right-hand shoulder.
but i was in a 5.7L V8, not a tour bus.
but i was in a 5.7L V8, not a tour bus.
Ah, 81.. i hate that road. Lector remind me NEVER to ride with you.
Why the hell not? He obviously didn't wreck, and probably made damn good time.
Altho, depending on how far he had to go, I could prolly have made the same kinda time, by simply not having to stop for fuel every 300 miles... more like.. every 2000 miles.. of course, a fillup costs about $1500.00US (2x150G tanks, so 300gallons, at nearly $5/gallon for diesel. 300x5 is? 1500.) Ahh, those were the good ole days. Now I drive a friggin company van with a wore out tranny, that barely makes it out of some driveways..
edit: back when I was driving trucks, I'd get passed by the same vehicles, over and over, as they'd get off the road for food, gas, etc. they'd go flyin by me, bout an hour later, they'd go flyin by me again, and I'd laugh. stick behind the truck, maintain a good solid speed.. you'll get there. If I leave my house on a 60mile trip, and drive the whole way, at an average speed of 60mph, 1 hour. if I drive 70mph, 55minutes.. 75mph, maybe around 50mins.. cut the distance in half, you also cut the gains in half.. add in the fact that at higher speeds, you'll likely have to slow down a few times, you likely won't -ever- average more than about 70mph, no matter how fast you punch it up to... well, you get the point.
.
.
but it sure is fun to try.
Altho, depending on how far he had to go, I could prolly have made the same kinda time, by simply not having to stop for fuel every 300 miles... more like.. every 2000 miles.. of course, a fillup costs about $1500.00US (2x150G tanks, so 300gallons, at nearly $5/gallon for diesel. 300x5 is? 1500.) Ahh, those were the good ole days. Now I drive a friggin company van with a wore out tranny, that barely makes it out of some driveways..
edit: back when I was driving trucks, I'd get passed by the same vehicles, over and over, as they'd get off the road for food, gas, etc. they'd go flyin by me, bout an hour later, they'd go flyin by me again, and I'd laugh. stick behind the truck, maintain a good solid speed.. you'll get there. If I leave my house on a 60mile trip, and drive the whole way, at an average speed of 60mph, 1 hour. if I drive 70mph, 55minutes.. 75mph, maybe around 50mins.. cut the distance in half, you also cut the gains in half.. add in the fact that at higher speeds, you'll likely have to slow down a few times, you likely won't -ever- average more than about 70mph, no matter how fast you punch it up to... well, you get the point.
.
.
but it sure is fun to try.
Don't scratch the paint on the Jag, Lecter.
The problem with most interstates is not the people who are going fast trying to get somewhere, it's the idiots in the VW Vanagon going 45 mph in the passing lane with bikes about to fall off the rack in back.
Same thing with airplanes: The regular business travelers pack their entire needs into the bag that is specially made to JUST fit in the overhead bin, then they shut up, sitdown, pop open the Dean Koontz novel of the week, intensely ignore the idiots sitting near them in the middle and window seats, and leave the way they came. Contrast that with the fat trailer trash that's flying for the first time, in a window seat, with a duct-taped pillowcase for a carryon, actually pays attention to the preflight safety instructions, needs help with the seatbelt, and asks if the peanuts are free.
Some people just exist to serve as a warning to others.
The problem with most interstates is not the people who are going fast trying to get somewhere, it's the idiots in the VW Vanagon going 45 mph in the passing lane with bikes about to fall off the rack in back.
Same thing with airplanes: The regular business travelers pack their entire needs into the bag that is specially made to JUST fit in the overhead bin, then they shut up, sitdown, pop open the Dean Koontz novel of the week, intensely ignore the idiots sitting near them in the middle and window seats, and leave the way they came. Contrast that with the fat trailer trash that's flying for the first time, in a window seat, with a duct-taped pillowcase for a carryon, actually pays attention to the preflight safety instructions, needs help with the seatbelt, and asks if the peanuts are free.
Some people just exist to serve as a warning to others.
heh, well next time in Europe try the German highways (Autobahn). Trucks going at maximum of 80km/h (50mph) and cars at minimum 130 to maximum 220km/h (80 to 135mph), quite amazing that it actually works. Highways in most other countries with speed limits ranging from 110 to 130km/h will be very boring afterwards.
hmm, 5 usd for derv ... double that for the uk ... 80 quid to fill the van these days ...
Not only that , they have added another tracer that you can't centrifuge out ...
Not only that , they have added another tracer that you can't centrifuge out ...
How the heck did he find out about [EMS]'s plot.....I mean, *ahem* What are you talking about we're not anarchists no of course not, where did you get that idea?! [EMS] is here to help you work for the anarchists - I mean... help you be... happy! Right! Yeah! Why wouldn't we?! <.<
id have no problem riding with the doc. course i've driven like that in a damned bronco
Heh, this was in '99, driving the old 5th Ave. Gas was cheaper.
I'd have really been a menace if I'd had the V12 XJS back then.
I'd have really been a menace if I'd had the V12 XJS back then.
their nice rides, good seats in them, can drive them all day and not get tired.
EXCLUSIVE: SERCO NEWS VISITS CRACK FRONTLINE SQUADRON!
Serco News proudly presents the first inside view of life in a crack Serco Fighter Squadron, having been allowed access to Big Red One's Pilot lounge.
We sneak in quietly as ONE pilots are enjoying watching an Old_Earth War-movie using Feeniks' ocular implants as a projector:
"Keep still Feenie, it's wobbling again!"
"But i cant see the movie stretched out like this!"
dapper planes rush through the blue sky to rousing music....
"Les english" says Blitzkrieg Bob.
cut to ugly brutish yellow nosed planes
one of the pilots shouts: achtung spitfuer!
then some more old earth language no-one now understands.
"Ach" says Schelling.
subtitles come up on the screen: "gunther prien spies the last of the enemy spitfires and sopwith camels"
the yellow nosed planes scream down in echelon at the enemy below.
"Neat. Atmosphere craft" mussed Keria.
cut to: leather helmeted winston spies the enemy above and pulls back on his stick.
winston: tally ho chaps i say bandits one o clock
eeeeeeeeeeaaaaawwwwwwwwararararaaaaaarrrrr!!!! naka naka naka naka naka!
(gunther destroyed 'anonymous spitfire pilot')
'anonymous spitfire pilot': he got me, winnie, he got me
gunther: jah you suk lol
winston: messerschmitts need to be borked
gunther: nein, spitfire's turn too fast!
"Ah yes, Messerscmitts" confirmed Blitzkrieg Bob
from nowhere totally unrelated: almost got my wings now just need to finish cross country and night flights... and get my landings to go better XD
from nowhere totally unrelated: wc
wheeling planes flash around the screen.
naka naka naka naka nak
(gunther's wingman destroyed 'penultimate camel')
'penultimate camel' goes down in flames in back projection as we watch a beady eyed gunther home in on the last...
"Not a split-s now you dork" interjected Vehement, suddenly jumping out of his chair in excitement "noo noo he'll get behind you"
blatta blatta blatta blatta! somehow our hero winston gets behind gunther's wingman and wastes him!
(winston destroyed 'gunther wingman')
winston: gf
gunther's wingman: gf
gunther: damn you winnie!
winston: [109] guild are runners!
gunther's wingman: hey you didnt hail
winston: roe 7 applies
RAF Shop: RAF Shop now sells stuka guns only 10,000k: type 'buy <stg> qty <amount>'
gunther's wingman: stfu
cut back to the last camel acka acka acka acka BOOM!
(gunther destroyed 'last camel')
"TOLD YA" winces Vehement, slumping down again in exasperation
last camel: wtf
gunther: noob!
winston: rofl
cut to longshot, one spit and one messerscmitt are left circling each other, suddenly the spitfire boosts towards the enemy, the enemy starts backrolling!
winston: GRRRR!!!!
winston in his anger presses flaps button by mistake at the same time as his upside down merlin runs out of gas.... gunther plunges in naka naka naka naka!
winston: ARRRRR!!!!
(gunther destroyed winston)(combat +200)
gunther: ha orun face!
winston, floating down on his parachute: i hate you mf !
more subtitles come up on the screen: "Is valiant hero winston doomed! has his guild totally ran out of spitfires and camels?!"
cut to longshot, 6 lovely streamlined silver planes appear on the screen!
Thundering noises rattle the whole Pilot's lounge.
whoooooooooooosh x6!
('clean cut guys' x 6 have entered the sector)
winston: at last! the american air force in their super sabres!
clean cut guy #1: hang on u plucky brits! sorry we're late again, we'll win the war for you now!
gunther, diving like mad: noooooooh!
Suddenly the door opens, sheff puts his face into the gloom, "AH, that film. Totally inauthentic. Gunther Prien was in the navy and Winston was so fat, everyone knows he could only pilot Hurricanes!"
Feeniks jumps up to attention from his prone position on a table and salutes his commander.
acka acka acka acka x 6
"Feeniks! We cant see the ending! Aargh!" screamed everbody.
gunther: gankers!
Vehement calmly; "play it over, i wanna see that split-s bit again..."
(no apologies for deliberate historical inaccuracies)
see also faq # 15 at: http://www.reliquary.co.uk/bigredone/faq/
Serco News proudly presents the first inside view of life in a crack Serco Fighter Squadron, having been allowed access to Big Red One's Pilot lounge.
We sneak in quietly as ONE pilots are enjoying watching an Old_Earth War-movie using Feeniks' ocular implants as a projector:
"Keep still Feenie, it's wobbling again!"
"But i cant see the movie stretched out like this!"
dapper planes rush through the blue sky to rousing music....
"Les english" says Blitzkrieg Bob.
cut to ugly brutish yellow nosed planes
one of the pilots shouts: achtung spitfuer!
then some more old earth language no-one now understands.
"Ach" says Schelling.
subtitles come up on the screen: "gunther prien spies the last of the enemy spitfires and sopwith camels"
the yellow nosed planes scream down in echelon at the enemy below.
"Neat. Atmosphere craft" mussed Keria.
cut to: leather helmeted winston spies the enemy above and pulls back on his stick.
winston: tally ho chaps i say bandits one o clock
eeeeeeeeeeaaaaawwwwwwwwararararaaaaaarrrrr!!!! naka naka naka naka naka!
(gunther destroyed 'anonymous spitfire pilot')
'anonymous spitfire pilot': he got me, winnie, he got me
gunther: jah you suk lol
winston: messerschmitts need to be borked
gunther: nein, spitfire's turn too fast!
"Ah yes, Messerscmitts" confirmed Blitzkrieg Bob
from nowhere totally unrelated: almost got my wings now just need to finish cross country and night flights... and get my landings to go better XD
from nowhere totally unrelated: wc
wheeling planes flash around the screen.
naka naka naka naka nak
(gunther's wingman destroyed 'penultimate camel')
'penultimate camel' goes down in flames in back projection as we watch a beady eyed gunther home in on the last...
"Not a split-s now you dork" interjected Vehement, suddenly jumping out of his chair in excitement "noo noo he'll get behind you"
blatta blatta blatta blatta! somehow our hero winston gets behind gunther's wingman and wastes him!
(winston destroyed 'gunther wingman')
winston: gf
gunther's wingman: gf
gunther: damn you winnie!
winston: [109] guild are runners!
gunther's wingman: hey you didnt hail
winston: roe 7 applies
RAF Shop: RAF Shop now sells stuka guns only 10,000k: type 'buy <stg> qty <amount>'
gunther's wingman: stfu
cut back to the last camel acka acka acka acka BOOM!
(gunther destroyed 'last camel')
"TOLD YA" winces Vehement, slumping down again in exasperation
last camel: wtf
gunther: noob!
winston: rofl
cut to longshot, one spit and one messerscmitt are left circling each other, suddenly the spitfire boosts towards the enemy, the enemy starts backrolling!
winston: GRRRR!!!!
winston in his anger presses flaps button by mistake at the same time as his upside down merlin runs out of gas.... gunther plunges in naka naka naka naka!
winston: ARRRRR!!!!
(gunther destroyed winston)(combat +200)
gunther: ha orun face!
winston, floating down on his parachute: i hate you mf !
more subtitles come up on the screen: "Is valiant hero winston doomed! has his guild totally ran out of spitfires and camels?!"
cut to longshot, 6 lovely streamlined silver planes appear on the screen!
Thundering noises rattle the whole Pilot's lounge.
whoooooooooooosh x6!
('clean cut guys' x 6 have entered the sector)
winston: at last! the american air force in their super sabres!
clean cut guy #1: hang on u plucky brits! sorry we're late again, we'll win the war for you now!
gunther, diving like mad: noooooooh!
Suddenly the door opens, sheff puts his face into the gloom, "AH, that film. Totally inauthentic. Gunther Prien was in the navy and Winston was so fat, everyone knows he could only pilot Hurricanes!"
Feeniks jumps up to attention from his prone position on a table and salutes his commander.
acka acka acka acka x 6
"Feeniks! We cant see the ending! Aargh!" screamed everbody.
gunther: gankers!
Vehement calmly; "play it over, i wanna see that split-s bit again..."
(no apologies for deliberate historical inaccuracies)
see also faq # 15 at: http://www.reliquary.co.uk/bigredone/faq/