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A Vendeta Story

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Feb 08, 2013 Chaser398 link
I just restarted the game after a long absence, and got the idea to write about it, a fan fiction story about no real people, just my idea of what is happening and what the technology and politics of the universe might be like.I have written many story's before, I believe that people make a story work or game for that matter, so my story will mention things I have seen in game or in my mind, as some things have not been completely explained in game. Thats what fiction is, I'll drop a few chapters here from time to time as it gets done, please, enjoy it, ty.

Into the Future

Chapter 1: A New Universe

Colonization had been going on for century’s now, with stations on planets and in space around them in many sectors. The Universal Trade Commission or the Military had the front lines covered but it was never enough, since wars had left behind enemy’s that never seemed to go away.

The universe was laid out very simply into ‘sectors’ numbered and using the alphabet for simplicity. Sector A was the old home sector, the very beginning of humans entry into space many century’s ago. Sector B was the first sector to be colonized after the home sector, and on, and on and on....until you reached the Frontier, and no one really knew where that started or the last colonies stopped.

But there was work for everyone and anyone who might want to go there, as stations were constantly in need of both ‘things’ like food and water, or protection, so the military was also a booming business. But with wars comes the hard side, rogues that got tired of fighting for ‘pennys’ and started pirating instead, drones, used by the thousands for both commercial mining and combat, that had, after remaking themselves for generations decided that humans were not to be trusted, and so they too went rogue.

So many were the drone problem that bounties were put on the biggest and mining drones, called ‘hive drones’ now because they hoarded their mining for their own uses, became a resource to harvest, and so the traders and patrols of the universe set upon them daily, and hundreds were destroyed and their parts harvested, and sold to stations for scrap or for research materials, since new drones were constantly being researched, and seeing what went wrong the last time helped greatly.

This was the universe that young men and women like Kenneth Barnes walked into upon graduation day. They had spent their first 20 years getting a proper education, and now, as they were ready to enter the real universe they stood in line, and walked into the Academy Deans office one by one to get their graduation cards, and their first assignments out side of the school.

Kenneth was standing there as the young woman in front of him was called and as the door opened, he saw the Dean sitting at her desk all smiles, and then the door went shut again and it was his turn next. He heard a soft, ‘ahem’ and as he turned to see his cousin, the secretary for the Dean, smiling and waving to him from her desk by the door and he smiled and nodded and the door opened again, and the young girl was now gone, and it was his turn as his name was called and he answered, ‘here’ and walked to the desk and the door to the outer office, and his past, closed behind him.

“Kenneth Barnes, it is the decision of this school, looking at your achievements, skills and training that you become a Universal Trader, and be sent to finish training and start your career at station C-11. Is that satisfactory to you?” She asked, knowing full well he had trained just for today.

“It is...” He answered as she handed him his card, a white plastic card, nothing but a placeholder until you get there, then you’ll be given the real thing, your accounts card, to use for the rest of your life.

“You have past all the recommended training here but advanced training will be available at the station, should you decide to use it. You have had your DNA scanned and entered into the universal database, for your safety, and the station knows your on the way. Be careful, and prosperous, dismissed.” She said as he gave her a quick salute and walked to the left, and out the door there to use the universal transporter, for the first and possibly the last time.

The Transporter was used mostly to move military units from station to station in times of war, but when it wasn’t in use the schools had access to it for this day. It saved much time and worry and helped them by not needing the schools to have fleets of starter ships, mostly shuttles, that new students got from the government as their first, and last, free ship.

He stepped through the door and was waved to a young man sitting behind a desk and he took his white card and swiped it and made sure everything was in order.

“Kenneth Barnes, Trader...” He read and Kenneth nodded agreement,” step to pad 3 please, and good luck to you.” And with that short introduction, Kenneth was whisked away and deposited minutes later in sector C station 11, a major trading station, on the edge of the core sectors.

Chapter 2: A Career

Kenneth closed his eyes when the machine started, and a minute later was asked if he was alright, and he opened them to see himself in a different room.

“Yes, I’m fine,” He said as the little man there smiled.

“You should have kept them open, its a once in a lifetime experience, seeing your body desolve and reappear somewhere else, very mind blowing I’ve been told.” He mentioned as Ken smiled and walked out of the tube to be led to the information desk.

“Kenneth Barnes, Trader...hope you do better than the last few we got through here, half got killed chasing drones and the others went out further and have never returned. Remember , we need things too, so please help stock us before running away.” She said not too friendly as Ken smiled and said he’d do his best.
“Universal Traders Kit, one medium shuttle with generic power core, one light pulse laser, and free registration...” She read off as Ken nodded he understood.”there are skills training for mining where you can get free mining equipment if your interested in that, see the Jobs Boards, all other training or work will be found there, understand these instructions?” She asked as he said he did, and a minute later a green card appeared from a machine beside her and she took it, scanned it to be sure everything was right, then handed it to him and pointed to the door.

“Level 1, slip 32, that way..” She said as he took his card and walked through the door into the real station, with hawkers running everywhere asking for deals, and miners and traders walking in and out of the docks area, some looking very tired indeed.

“Fresh meat I see...” One man said not too softly at all as Ken gave him a dirty look.”Oh don’t give me that, you knew you’d hear that eventually. How would you like to sell me your shuttle, a Traders shuttle isn’t worth squat here, and if we do the paperwork right, in 24 hours it’ll show as missing and you’ll get another for free. Thats the way these core stations work, and there are people further out that don’t get this kind treatment.”

“So, let me guess, you buy free shuttles here for next to nothing and then sell them on the station on the frontier for big bucks, is that about it? Even the government knows about this scam, and many times guys like me will not get reimbursed because guys like you muck up the paperwork, no thanks.” Ken said and pushed past him and out onto the dock and went to see his first ship.

It certainly wasn’t a sleek or fancy thing, the Traders shuttle, but it was never meant to be. It was, after all, just a place to live for the less fortunate, and a workplace that carried up to 18 tons of cargo at a time. It had decent speed and a small laser for defense, if you were fighting a mining drone, because anything else would have you for lunch. It was nothing but a box, with a slanted nose and windows and engines, made by the hundreds by the government yearly and then given away to help get Traders and miners started and help hold up the economy for next to nothing.

Ken went on board and gave it the once over. It did have a very small living area, just a bunk with a small food replicator in one corner and a table for one next to the opposite wall. The command center had the usual amenities, twin maps on the left side of the navigators seat, one of the local area, one of the galaxy so you could lay in a course almost anywhere instantly. Then the cargo scanner, showing how much of what you had on board. It left you know at a glance how much room you had or how much materials you had to sell. Then the speed controls and the navigation console and a single weapons display, with targeting and a simple fire button, not to be used unless necessary, or you were more than confident you’d survive.

Against type 1 drones, the oldest and smallest out there, it was deadly. Their weapon was used for mining only, but did do a little damage to a ship, if you let them. But the little pulse laser could destroy a MK 1 drone in 4-5 shots much faster than they could kill you, so fighting drones, especially when they were busy mining and ignored you, was a decent way to make a few credits.
Scrap was always on every stations list, as was parts like power supply’s and even drone weapons. Not so much for use but for research, seeing how far they have come on their own. But either way, a load of drone scrap could well be worth 1500 credits not bad when flying a government shuttle that got repaired for free.

Ken decided to see about his first job and he had planned it for weeks. He went back inside and to the jobs board and found what he was looking for, every station had missions that acted to help the station out and give additional training to workers there. The job read: “we need to find more ferrous metals asteroids, we’ll give a free mineral scanner to anyone who will scan 20 ferrous asteroids for us and let us know where they are, as a second part of this mission, report back with the scans and we’ll offer you a mining beam and pay for any ferrous ore you bring in, up to 100 units.” that would be a lot of loads, but the equipment was worth the time and he didn’t need to mine that much, just the minimal amount, even though it did guarantee him an income right of the bat.

He took the mission and backed away from the dock for the first time. Being in a real shuttle was different from the simulators but not much and after a slow start, he was flying through the asteroid field scanning rocks like the best of them in less than an hour.He got the scans they wanted and got back and took the mining mission. Then he went out and sat there, mining away for an hour and came in and unloaded. He did this a few times and the station thanked him and the mission was over, but they mentioned that he could mine anytime and they’d gladly take all he could get, and he just nodded and smiled and went out looking for something better to mine and did find some silicates and carbonates, that paid better and brought in a load of those. Now his account was showing some improvement and he stopped for a meal and to get some sleep and make sure he’d be ready for his next day at work.
Feb 08, 2013 LMAO link
nice!!!
Feb 08, 2013 Chaosis link
..............???????????????

I'm not gonna put any effort into this commentary, because there was no effort put into this story. The "chapters" were incredibly short, boring, and contained far too much "tell, don't show" than any story should have, period. The "characters" consist of one named individual blob of undescribed whatever, the rest being a bunch of nameless mooks who show nothing beyond moving the bare-bones, cliche plot forward.

This literally reads like a twelve-year-old wrote it. While there might exist some small inkling of a good idea or two in here, none of it is written in any sort of way that would actually allow them to be explored. If you're actually serious about continuing this venture, I'd suggest learning more about the actual universe, and how to write a story, before trying again.
Feb 08, 2013 Pizzasgood link
FYI, the apostrophe is not used to denote plurals - it is for possessives and contractions. "Bob's ship" would be a correct usage. "I have written many story's" is not valid (though it is a bit ironic in this instance).

I mention this because you did it up multiple times. I know that if I had posted a story where I made the same mistake repeatedly, I'd want it pointed out so that I could correct it and avoid making the same mistake in the future.
Feb 08, 2013 ryan reign link
Wow... everyone is a critic. Also, this story was awful.
Feb 08, 2013 LeberMac link
1. Punctuation and grammar count.
2. Plot and Character matter.
3. Write about things your audience cares about.

I'd like to encourage younger writers, hence I will refrain from being a critic. Make the next installment about something unique Mr. Barnes does with his newfound freedom.

Oh, and you misspelled Vendetta.

Bad form.
Feb 09, 2013 Chaser398 link
OK, first off, I'm not a young writer, I'm a 60 year old disabled man who likes to write. Secondly, this is a work of fiction based on the game not a word for word description of things that happen there, and third, it was written with a story in mind that hasn't happened yet. If your professional writers, I accept your corrections of the work. If your just players with an attitude, then I cant ask any more than the gripes that have occurred here.But this does prove that the game, as old and small as it is, has rabid players who see things only their way.Out of three comments one was calm and considerate, and no....I don't write what people want to read, I write what I feel or like, demanding people do only what you enjoy is the 12 year old talking.

I started this as a way to show that I was in the game again, and I saw a way that some young person might see the things going on around him. Sorry he isn't a blood thirsty pvper that kills everyone he sees for fun and profit, in the real universe, those people are hunted down by the authorities and done away with not just a few other players who do the same thing.I like to add a bit of reality to my storys, but if thats not good enough for those who like only what they like, then don't read it, it's a simple thing, do something else.Because this isn't going to be a work of screaming around killing people and expecting the universe to applaud it for you. Dead is dead, so unless your a policemen from the future, or military officer who kills only who hes told to, you'll die,thats reality, now and then.
Feb 09, 2013 Chaser398 link
Chapter 3: Salvaging

He was sitting eating breakfast when a call came over the coms link. The local military patrol was going into an asteroid field not far away to eliminate drones that had attacked a miner there. They mentioned that anyone wanting to assist could follow along and they could have any salvageable materials that was left behind, but no one seemed too keen about the idea, so he called and said he’d come and they told him what field they were entering and said they’d meet him there.

He grabbed the rest of his food and took his coffee back to the cockpit with him and drifted away and ran to the jump point, then into the sector to see fighters running up one side of the asteroid field and down another, shooting every drone in sight. They were doing pretty good and Ken ran in and got a load in no time and thanked them for the call.

“We’ll be here for a while yet, so come back... but be careful we’re stirring them up pretty bad.” The patrol commander mentioned as Ken agreed and jumped back to the station and sold his load and then returned to see even more scrap than before and he started loading again. But a minute later and his ship took a hit and he spun around to see a MK 1 drone sitting there, right along side firing point blank into him. He did the same and in a minute he had his first kill, and the patrol cheered for him, saying that he was a born drone killer, and Ken laughed, and gathered the materials there and finished his load and returned to the base and sold that too. It had been a good day so far and he made one more trip and was almost loaded when another drone attacked and he finished it, but not without some damage and the materials left behind were more than enough to finish filling his cargo and he ran away just as the patrol left the area once more.

He docked at the station and asked for repairs and was reminded, not too accurately, that his warranty was about up on his shuttle and he could pay for a new one or pay for his own repairs after today. It was a scam used by many stations to help with their labor contracts and Ken mentioned that the agreement on his hud said he got free repairs so long as he flew a government shuttle, and after a little negotiation, he agreed to pay for labor if the station paid for parts, and that gave them both something and he made a note to report this knowing full well, it wouldn’t do any good. Things like this were commonplace, and many stations were run by families or corps that paid to build them decades ago. So out here, they had almost card blank when it came to dealing with labor contracts and unions, and sometimes they got a little behind when they gave away too much to attract the best workers.

But Ken knew that every system had places like this and the home world knew it and did nothing, so long as the materials they needed were coming in. How they got them was their problem, and he made a note to check around and see what stations had the best deals for Traders, and he saw right away why this station was having a hard time keeping working traders here.

By now his account had over 5000 credits in it, even after paying for repairs. It was enough to get a better ship, a Revenant,but not here since his rank was not high enough, and he went out mining and dealing and his reputation went up with each deal, no matter how small. It would take a little while but he watched carefully and mined only the better ore and that helped and when his rank jumped up a level, and new ships became available, he made that jump, and left this station behind and docked on another, in area D station 14, and after checking in and seeing the job boards, he bought a small assault freighter, a sort of joke to the people who flew them, they were more sleek looking, had more gun mounts but held hardly anything more than the shuttle. It was true that it could hold 22 tons of cargo, not a lot but a little more, but the real reason it had been made was originally as a military transporter, and the old design, now more than 3 decades old, was sold to stations for manufacture and sale.

It looked better and held a tad more and had three slots for equipment instead of 1 so that was the next step up for anyone serious about Trading. It also had a lot more armor, and when every hit was on the armor, that made everyone sleep a little better.

Ken moved the laser over from his shuttle and that left a lot of room for improvement. He then added his mining beam and scanner and the ship was full, and ready for work. He checked the boards,and got a mission to bring in loads of silicates, and the pay was pretty good and when he mined he got some assorted other minerals as well, since no pure silicate asteroids were nearby, some were pretty high priced here, and he got his money back for the ship in less than a week.

He wasn’t kidding himself, his rank was too low to get top line missions so he was still doing newbee missions that every station had, but as his rank improved, then new missions came up and what he made in a week before, he could make in a day, later on. He also had been lucky not to get killed, being brought back, using your DNA on government file wasn’t free but it made you nearly immortal, if you could afford the cost.The first reincarnation was free, and he still had that yet and that was good, since the second would cost big time, and if you didn’t have it in your account, your family was asked to pay it, and he wasn’t about to ask his parents for that kind of cash right now. The day his account passed 10,000 credits,the amount needed for reincarnation, he felt the weight of the world come off his shoulders, and he still had the one free time coming to him, so he was set. But he knew just doing missions would mean that eventually he’d use that and need a new ship when this one was destroyed, and he wanted to make sure he had it covered well ahead of time, something many people never planned for.

“I’ll not get killed for a long time...” They’d say then the chip implanted in their arm would go off showing no brain function, and their new body would come on line, automatically, ready or not.

Chapter 4: Getting Ahead

By now he had done 10 missions and mined for a few days. His account was looking pretty good and though he took some damage, he had still kept that freighter all this time. He also had the original shuttle, parked at a station and waiting, just in case things ever went badly for him and he couldn’t afford a better ship. Thats the way people did things, if they were being careful, but he only thought that he had a long way to go, to be self-supporting, since bad times could rip you to the bone in a matter of days.

He was having a meal in the station for a change when someone next to him was heard talking about new drones in a sector just north of them.

“They are tough...the military sent patrols in and half of them didn’t come back. They have high speed guns that just spray you like water out of a pipe, and the armor drops in seconds.Only bigger ships with shield turrets have a chance, so their sending in some medium assault ships tomorrow.” They said as Ken decided that he’d stay away from the northern sectors for a while until they settled this problem.

“I heard that out of ten fighters that ran in only 6 came back, and they only destroyed two drones, thats tough.” One man said and Ken started wondering how many of them there were. If they had such strong guns, and a wave of military fighters couldn’t take them, they might start moving into other sectors, and he knew that having his ship set up for mining wasn’t going to protect him if they came. So after he ate, he went to see what he had in storage, and found a drone Ion Blaster, and put that in the other gun mount.It wasn’t a very strong gun, but two firing at once would help a lot, and he could still mine since he had scanned dozens of asteroids now and had them stored in his sector maps.

He was being as careful as he could, saving anything free he got that he might use later on, like the little gun he found after a fight, but when he found really strong opponents, then he’d have to get better equipment, or die a lot more than he could ever afford.

He knew he also needed more combat practice, so he took a job hunting mining drones, the Mk. 1-2 drones that were found everywhere. They asked him to kill some and bring in technology samples, to see how far from the originals these rogue drones were now that they were repairing and building new from some odd Blue Print that certainly wasn’t what they had started out to be.

He jumped into a different sector and almost immediately was jumped by a drone and he killed it before he took much damage. When it blew he was pleasantly surprised, it dropped a weapon, another light gun, and a power supply, still intact, and a medium power cell, bigger and better than the one he was using. He gathered all that happily and then got hit again and after just 6 drones, he had to retreat, with a decent load of salvage, but some serious hull damage as well. But he made it back in one piece, and repairs were pretty cheap for this little freighter, so after he checked into the materials he brought back with him and dropped off at least some of what the mission owners asked for, he made a nice amount and then had to go back to get the rest of the materials they wanted.

But the second time wasn’t as easy. He had been seen and some drones had died, now they seemed to be waiting for him and after killing only three, and getting only 2 pieces they wanted his hull was back to 30% again, and he barely killed the last drone before he got the jump signal and escaped the area.He got repaired, again, and then checked the maps to see where the drones he needed were seen without jumping into a sector where those big husky ones were. After checking three belts on the map, he found another one where the smaller drones were still seen. He went there and it seemed that they had not been bothered for a while. He caught 3 sitting, mining and took no damage at all. He got all the resources the scientists wanted and more and after killing a few more for the salvage jumped back to deliver what he had gotten and sell the rest.

But as he sold off the materials he brought back, he got a big round of applause on the coms, and the sector Manager announced that he had earned the rank of Trader, Level 1, a big step up from where he had started. It left him have access to more stations than before, and better guns and power cells, and that made his chances of survival even better, and he smiled and thanked them saying that he intended to be around for a good while and he was thanked for his hard work.

After the official announcement, he pulled up all his rankings and was surprised to see that with all the work he’d been doing that his mining rank was over 75% of the way to a new level, Miner 1, and with that would come better mining equipment. His combat was low, of course but he had gained a little today shooting drones and his skills needed that since no matter where you go, there will always be someone that wants your ship or you, dead, so he decided that he had done pretty well and he’d shoot more drones tomorrow and bring in the salvage just like today.

Ken’s account was now over 50k and with that came some better plans than before. he didn’t need to rush out and take missions that were too dangerous, so he made sure every mission he took paid well, and helped get his professional rankings even higher. Rankings are everything out here, if your combat rankings are low, you’ll never get offered combat missions, if your trading rank is low, you’ll never get any missions that pay well. But with time and patience comes help, and he knew in a few weeks that he’d be doing pretty well, and thats what he hoped for and when he mentioned to a friend in the restaurant that he still didn’t use the free reincarnation yet, he backed away from him looking shocked and said that saying it out loud was a jinx, and Ken just laughed it off.
Feb 09, 2013 tarenty link
Nice, you've got a backbone. Keep it up.
Feb 09, 2013 ryan reign link
I actually am a professional writer and all sarcasm aside, I fully endorse the commentary left by Leebs.
Feb 09, 2013 Pizzasgood link
"If your just players with an attitude"

Actually, not only am I a player with an attitude, I also have delusions of grandeur. By the way: s/your/you're/

I haven't read the new chapters yet, so no comments on those for now. I will read them eventually.
*ominous music plays as the scene fades to black*
Feb 10, 2013 ryan reign link
Yours

"He took the mission and backed away from the dock for the first time. Being in a real shuttle was different from the simulators but not much and after a slow start, he was flying through the asteroid field scanning rocks like the best of them in less than an hour.He got the scans they wanted and got back and took the mining mission. Then he went out and sat there, mining away for an hour and came in and unloaded. He did this a few times and the station thanked him and the mission was over, but they mentioned that he could mine anytime and they’d gladly take all he could get, and he just nodded and smiled and went out looking for something better to mine and did find some silicates and carbonates, that paid better and brought in a load of those. Now his account was showing some improvement and he stopped for a meal and to get some sleep and make sure he’d be ready for his next day at work."

Yours edited in five minutes (it would have been better than this, but I'm for some reason not invested in the characters, story or really any of it)

He took the mission and backed away from the dock for the first time. Piloting a real shuttle was different from the simulators but not enough to cause problems. After a slow start, he was flying through the asteroid field, scanning rocks like he'd been born with a mineral scanner.

A slight smile appeared as he thought that had he been born Serco... maybe he would have been.

Soon enough he had all they wanted, flew back and chose a simple mining mission. Out in the field he sat there... losing himself in his thoughts. In what seemed no time at all, a single alert tone told him his hold was full. Barely paying attention, he glided his shuttle to the docking bay to unload. After bringing in a dozen or so loads of raw ore, Razik Clegost, the stations ore acquisitions officer thanked him and signed off that the mission had been completed.

"There..." he said smiling as he handed back the data pad. "... that'll let the bureaucrats know what ya done and how ya performed. Make sure ya keep an official record,this'll keep e'ery one 'onest yer bank gets fatter and yer licenses goes up. Oh,one last ting..." Razik whispered in a conspiratorial tone. "we're no s'pposed to, but if ya e'er find yerself low on creds... come on back. You mine it, we buys it... you don' runs outta creds, we don' runs outta ore."

He seemed about to say something else but was distracted by a loud crash as two hundred units of Heliocene toppled and crashed to the already cluttered deck plates. In seconds, he was off and lost in a storm of guttural slang and curses the likes of which hadn't been heard since the last time the Itani and Serco tried to make peace.

Advice for the future...

1. And is a busy word, give it a rest.
2. people have personalities, so should every character you introduce.
3. DETAILS
4. More details.
5. If you can come up with a metaphor, use it.... simply saying what happened is a bit dull. for example....

I woke and made coffee and took a shower.

Vs.

With all the enthusiasm of a giant sloth, I willed myself out of bed... swearing as my bare feet touched cold floor. I stumbled towards the kitchen with the futile hope that my wife had made coffee. Or at least had the decency to leave yesterdays in the pot to be reheated. No such luck. I set about the daunting task contemplating the "honor and obey" part of our wedding vows. When I heard the gurgle of the cheaply made monstrosity spring to life, I headed for the shower.
Instantly, my eyes were assaulted by the bright pink color scheme my wife had decided gave the bathroom a cheery glow. Closing my eyes tight I turned on the shower, counted to thirty so the ancient water heater could do what any decent model wouldn't have to struggle with and stepped in.

The shock of the freezing cold water sent me reeling. My arms flailed wildly as I tried to regain balance... the last thing I heard was a sharp and horrible cracking sound as the base of my neck hit the edge of the toilet.
My last worldly thought was...

"At least I won't have to read another poorly written VO fan fic.
Feb 10, 2013 Whytee link
Good advice there Ryan. I wish someone had punched it in my direction when I started writing, would have saved a lot of time :)

Chaser, when you write something, just write it for yourself. If someone else reads it, either they like it, or they don't. Their problem. If they like it, great. Then you have created value for someone else, and that is the only bonus you'll ever get as a writer anyhow.
Keep on writing, keep on learning to write as well. In my view (I know, it is worth as much as the naughts and ones I have produced by writing this..), learning to write is half the fun of doing these things.

One advice, coming from hard-earned experience: Keep the posts smaller. One chapter per post seems to be what most are willing to actually read. Attention span... Hey, look, a monkey doing gangnam style

YT
Feb 10, 2013 ryan reign link
Whytee, I quite like the RP stories I read that were penned by you... I only problem I found with your writings... is I'm not in them!
Feb 10, 2013 Whytee link
yet.... :)

damn, what am I getting into here :)
Feb 10, 2013 blood.thirsty link
/me smells a new adventure with some Bractus terrorists in it : )
Feb 10, 2013 ryan reign link
Damn it BT! You spelled "Freedom Fighters" wrong! Shouldn't hold it against ya though... whats a plant know bout spell check?
Feb 10, 2013 LeberMac link
OT: ryan & whytee, let me know what you've written outside of VO, this is interesting.

Chaser - Sorry about assuming you were younger, I just... well let's just say that I saw the grammatical errors and assumed. And we all know what assuming does - It makes an ass out of u and ming. And no one wants to piss of Ming the Merciless. Cause his goatee is like, the most evil goatee ever. He could probably stab you through the heart with that thing, it's so pointy.

Whytee and Ryan have written the most VO stories so I guess they're pretty much experts. Dunno if you have to do whatever they say, though. I'd just keep writing whatever stuff you like if it keeps you happy.

Ryan might just be bitter after getting back a once-proud manuscript bleeding red ink, rejected by a publisher.

Ooooh now I have an idea: VO writing duel. I challenge Ryan and Whytee to a VO fanfic writing duel. One of you guys start on the RolePlaying forums and I'll write the next part, etc. Then Chaser can judge us based on punctuation, plot development, character, and overall style. HA. Tha gauntlet has been thrown down!

And now back to Ken Barnes, where it seems he's about to find out what resurrection feels like...
Feb 10, 2013 ryan reign link
Leebs... I'm currently in negotiations with a publisher, so this isn't the best timing for me to reference things I've written. With luck, the soon to be best seller "***********"© will be on shelves. I'll send you a signed copy.

[EDITED at request of lawyers, my agent and the publisher... sorry]
Feb 10, 2013 LeberMac link
Wow that's frikking awesome. Waitaminute... WHAT was the title of that... ?