Forums » Off-Topic

DOWN WITH SPORKS

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Apr 10, 2004 red cactus link
Does anyone share my opinion of plastic sporks? Completely, utterly useless? Not good enough to be a fork, and too flimsy to be a spoon. I have an idea. Let's start a petition against sporks! I'm signing it!
Apr 10, 2004 Arolte link
I hate sporks too. Unless it's soup (I'm not a big soup fan) of course, I always use forks. Whoever invented the fork should be king of the universe!
Apr 10, 2004 HumpyThePenguin link
I like sporks because you could stab someone with them and it hurts but since it's a flimsy plastic spoon fork thingy, youcant get in trouble for it >.>
Apr 10, 2004 toshiro link
...
to think one invents such a thing...
...
to think people actually care whether they exist or not...
...
to think that i posted in this thread...
Apr 10, 2004 Sheean link
I object!

http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~jm703496/spork/
Apr 10, 2004 toshiro link
oog. you posted that really fast. you must be a spork lover! die! die!
Apr 10, 2004 Magus link
The time has come for us spork lovers to rise up! We must cast off this tyranny! RESIST MY BROTHERS!! RESIST THE PROPAGANDA OF THE EVIL SILVERWARE PRODUCING CORPORATIONS!!!
Apr 10, 2004 UncleDave link
/me throws a butterknife at Magus
Apr 10, 2004 Magus link
/me deflects the butterknife with his spork.
Apr 10, 2004 HumpyThePenguin link
/me hits UncleDave over the head with a giant interstellar spork
Apr 10, 2004 Cam link
what about plastic forks with a knife edge on them?
knorks

are they okay?

-Cam-
Apr 10, 2004 red cactus link
No! Those are even worse! Because the knife edge wouldn't work!
Apr 10, 2004 HumpyThePenguin link
Hat about knives with multiple points on one end and a depression in the blade? We could call them knorkoons!
Apr 10, 2004 Pyroman_Ace link
SPORKS WORK for assasinations. You can stab someone then tear their heart out with a spoonlike object ("it's blunt it'll hurt more you twit!")...

otherwise they are totally and completely useless for EVERYTHING
Apr 10, 2004 harvestmouse link
guys, switch to chopsticks. I'm sincere about this!
you can pick just about anything up with chopsticks, you can make shiskabobs, you can eat rice, you can drink soup (if you know how to eat rice with chopsticks, drinking soup is easy : D)... you can cut stuff too

if you're bored while eating, chopsticks make great flicking weapons
Apr 11, 2004 Pyro link
Drinking soup with chopsticks... Errr, drink straight out of the bowl? :P
Apr 11, 2004 Sheean link
Long live the chopsticks!

They are even better than sporks!
Apr 11, 2004 HumpyThePenguin link
You could hide little daggers in chopsticks that you couldn't hide in the mighty spork....hrmmm..
Apr 12, 2004 Hoax link
I have a titanium Spork that I take on camping trips. I have to say its pretty darn usefull... They don't have to be plastic you know. It has the stabbing/poking power of a fork combined with the versatility of a spoon. Plus no chopstick learning curve. What's not to like?
Apr 12, 2004 RelayeR link
Did you ever try to cover your eyes while getting a tan with spoons? Your eyes can't breathe! Forks? Little tan lines on your eyelids! Knives? Fogeddaboudit! SPORKS!

If I could only have one object on a desert island with me, it would be a spork!