This is intended as a repository for funny in-game quotes. Kindly edit your logs down to the relevant parts prior to posting.

Here's the link to the previous Funny Quotes thread: http://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/16922

FIRST!

I admit that I have no new funny quotes, but give you this instead:
http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-travel

* drazed knows just about everything >.>
<lord_spidey> oh yea
<lord_spidey> how many bears could bear grylls grill if bear grylls could grill bears?
<drazed> given what timeframe?
<lord_spidey> hmmm
<lord_spidey> lets say 24 hours
<Waffles> wife says 2
<Waffles> but only if its sunny
<drazed> actually, the correct answer is 0-42
<drazed> depending on the time of year
<drazed> 0 in the winter if he can't find their hibernation grounds
<Waffles> 42 bears in a 24 hour time frame?
<drazed> 42 in winter, if he find the site and douses it with gasoline, then throws a match
<Waffles> how many grills does grylls have?
<drazed> ;)
<drazed> brb
<Waffles> thats not grilling!
<drazed> why not
<Waffles> grilling requires a GRILL
<Waffles> thats arson :P
<Waffles> the last time i cooked a whole hog it took about 12 hours
<Waffles> so a black bear might take as long or longer
<Waffles> a grizzly, much longer
<Waffles> thats a LOT of meat :P
<drazed> you call it arson... I call it baking :D
<drazed> it's just a bigger oven

more shit from march 4th:

<vo> [100] <IRCspidey> seriously though a good toke will make 128kbps mp3 sound like 320kb/s mp3
<vo> [100] <Otto Nemo> oh please, quit taunting me
<vo> [100] <Shugi Kroto> that's why they give you a sperate pot for the bass...it's brutal if you don't reign it in
<vo> [100] <Dudedaddy> u guys r gay
<vo> [100] <IRCspidey> and will make a FLAC sound like vinyl running on a tube powered amp
<vo> [100] Otto Nemo is totally homo
<vo> [100] IRCspidey is too
<vo> [100] <Shugi Kroto> John Wayne was a fag
<vo> [100] <Carsultyal> im not taunting you
<vo> [100] <IRCspidey> i'm taunting people with cannibux
<vo> [100] <Carsultyal> omfg repo man
<vo> [100] <IRCspidey> cannibus*
<vo> [100] <Shugi Kroto> I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he'd come to the door in a dress...
<vo> [100] <Dudedaddy> wtf r u guys talkin bout?

classic case of n00b syndrome 95% of the time causes permanent disconnects from the vo community.

These guys were not satisfied with winning an empty sector.

[EDIT] more a situation, but... I still found it funny.

Hey, those ice-field skirmishes weren't easy! :)

I really appreciate long, flat modules.

-Alloh

<itan> (guild) [Odia] <ARF_01> It sounds like gauss
<itan> (guild) [Odia] <slime> same sound
<itan> (guild) [Odia] <ARF_01> I wish it squeeked like a rubber dick
<itan> (guild) [Odia] <ARF_01> duck
<itan> (guild) [Odia] <slime> lol

*[Itan]spidey: Entered radar range. Is at 100% health and is 331m away.
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:14 2011] [100] spidey blows Seragyn
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:15 2011] [100] <spidey> wc
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:17 2011] [100] <spidey> fuck
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:19 2011] PROXIMITY ALERT !!!
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:21 2011] [100] <spidey> bad time for a wc
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:22 2011] <Star Buck> lol
[Tue Mar 22 02:53:24 2011] [100] <Seragyn> not gonna save you

"There are some things in life you can discuss, the others you just know. And most of my ideas for Vendetta i just know they are right. You see, after playing multiple games of different types over 15 years, i know exactly what is "the essence" that makes games successful.

None of my (or similiar) ideas got ever implemented and look in what state VO is now.
I think you would do best for the game by simply supporting me, instead of fighting & trolling me."

PoL

<itan> (guild) [Itan] <draugath> Spidey, I choose you.
<lord_spidey> !what
<lord_spidey> !do you need me to stick my junk in something?
<lord_spidey> !usually what I'm requested for.
<slime> like a vaccum?
<slime> @quote *vaccum*
<CraziesPet> (62): <Waffles> spidey!!!!! <slime> he's vaccuming his balls
<CraziesPet> 60 minute quote(53): <lord_spidey> I'LL LICK WHATEVER ANUS I WANT WHENEVER I WANT!
<slime> lol
<lord_spidey> the 60 minute quote couldn't have come at a better time

@ryan reign

Hahaha that one is just hilarious.
Who the hell is this "PoL" guy ?

I believe his name is well-known to be Polelickn Lancemelots.

Incarnate: Impavid: Please stop posting on my forums. You have nothing useful to add, not even the slightest hint of a constructive purpose to your criticism. You just want to dump on me, and anything we do. Please go away, play EVE or something.

@ PaladinOfLancelot...

See, yer learnin to roll with it and starting to be able to have a laugh at yer own expense. Its a lot more fun than always bein so defensive.

Also... if ya liked that one, this one is great too (one of my all tie faves in fact)...

"@ Ryan: And for the record, You are completely, absolutely wrong. Because my ideas are completely, totally awesome
And You Sir, are a completely self-oriented concrete hardcore player. You wouldn't see a good idea to improve the game even if it standed behind You and kicked You in the ass.
You play this game for too long and You just can't stand any changes
Vendetta is DYING, and it's because of YOU (and several very-noob-unfriendly trolls). So, move along and let me do my job, or die with the game right there.
I have reviewed all the changes Vendetta had through the last 3 years, and guess what - they were ALL evolutionary or cosmetic.
You (hardcore players) simply want Vendetta to be space Quake like it is now forever.
The EVOLUTION is not enough. The world is moving forward, things that don't move are relatively moving backwards."

PoL

Seriously though, its good to see ya lightening up.

[04/06/11 17:16:44] [100] <spidey> FEWM FEWM
[04/06/11 17:16:47] [100] <spidey> railvult!
[04/06/11 17:16:48] *spidey* Rawr!
[04/06/11 17:16:59] <spidey> OW
[04/06/11 17:17:00] [100] <Nahin Lor> boom boom
[04/06/11 17:17:06] [100] <Nahin Lor> flare bus
[04/06/11 17:17:35] Nahin Lor destroyed spidey
[04/06/11 17:17:35] Combat +200
[Itan]spidey: Left radar range.
[04/06/11 17:17:36] [100] <Nahin Lor> gf
[04/06/11 17:17:37] [100] <spidey> rFFUFUU

Alright Ryan and PoL... get a room please! :p

I don't wanna make our resident plant, BT jealous.

<lord_spidey> problem arf? <lord_spidey> is your anus pending for a lickin' ?

"Vendetta is DYING, and it's because of YOU (and several very-noob-unfriendly trolls). So, move along and let me do my job, or die with the game right there."

the fuck is wrong with you two, you're both like the nut on the street corner with his "REPENT YOUR SINS THE END IS COMING" billboard-thing

<Kavec> I wish I had delicious cousins :<
<Waffles> a little cousin kissing kavec?
<Kavec> I would not object
<Kavec> but my cousins are all dudes

Jealousy is a human emotion, Hunger on the other leaf...
: )